


I Just Kinda Wish You Were Gay

by grungenovella



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Based on a Billie Eilish Song, Bottom Bucky Barnes, Douche Steve Rogers, Friends With Benefits, Jealous Bucky Barnes, Jealousy, M/M, No Smut, Pining, Roommates, Song Lyrics, Song fic, Top Steve Rogers, Wish You Were Gay, no happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-23
Updated: 2019-05-23
Packaged: 2020-03-10 02:06:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,037
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18929122
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/grungenovella/pseuds/grungenovella
Summary: Bucky loves Steve.Steve isn't gay.





	I Just Kinda Wish You Were Gay

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, I know Steve would never act like this it's just a fic. Please enjoy.

~‘Baby I don't feel so good.” Six words you never understood. 'I’ll never let you go.' Five words you’ll never say. 

Bucky sat on the couch watching tv and nursing a horrible headache. He dropped his head gently onto the back of the couch and shut his eyes. The relief washed over him as the weight had been taken off his neck and he breathed out a sigh.   
He felt the cushion dip beside him and then a pair of warm lips press into his neck, “Steve I don't feel good.”   
His words went ignored as the blond beside him continued sucking at the soft skin of his neck. “Steve please,” he said again.   
No words came from the other man as he started sucking at the base of Bucky’s jaw knowingly. Bucky moaned lightly and moved his hand up and into the blond’s short hair.  
A few hours later, Bucky woke up alone.

~I laugh along like nothings wrong, four days has never felt so long. If three’s a crowd and two is us, one slipped away. 

Bucky walked out of his room and into the kitchen to find Steve in front of the stove, two plates sitting on the counter.   
“You’re making breakfast?” he asked?  
Steve jerked his head towards the sitting room, and Bucky turned to see a blonde sitting on the couch watching the tv.   
She looked up at the brunet, “You must be Steve’s roommate.”  
She smiled at him and Bucky had to admit that she was very attractive. He smiled back and then turned to the fridge, grabbed a water, and left the apartment.   
When he returned, the apartment was empty.  
He sat on the couch with his eyes trained on the movie in front of him. Natasha sat next to him with her feet propped on the coffee table.   
“Steve has really been gone for four days?” she asked.  
“Yeah,” he replied with a chuckle, “guess he’s been staying with that blonde, Sharon I think is her name.”  
“And you’re okay with that?”   
“Of course,” he laughed, “I'm just glad he’s finally getting some.”  
Nat laughed along.

~I just wanna make you feel okay, but all you do is look the other way. I can’t tell you how much I wish I didn't wanna stay. I just kinda wish you were gay.

The sound of food sizzling on the stove was drowned out by a speaker in the kitchen and the laughter of two men as they danced along to the music. Bucky lived for evenings like this. It was almost like he had the old Steve back. Before the sex, before the arguments, before he ruined it. He couldn’t help but admire the man in front of him. His hair had grown out just a bit and was laying against his forehead. He was shirtless, showing off his broad shoulders and toned stomach. He also wore his sweatpants low on his hips exposing a deep v-line. He was conventionally attractive, but his personality was what most appealed to Bucky. He dreams about Steve in ways one shouldn't dream about their best friend. They grew up together, and Bucky loved him. For as long as he could remember, he loved him. He told him this one day and Steve just laughed. Around a month later they had fucked for the first time. Steve was horny and Bucky was stupid. They had made a weird routine of this. Steve would fuck around with women, easily because he was very attractive, but on the off chance that he would come home alone, he would climb into Bucky’s bed. Bucky brought it up one night after they had finished.   
“I would treat you so well if you just let me.”   
Steve chuckled dryly, “I'm not gay, Buck.”

~Is there a reason we're not through? Is there a twelve step just for you? Our conversation’s all in blue, eleven ‘Hey’’s. Ten fingers tearing out my hair. Nine times you never made it there. I ate alone at seven, you were six minutes away.

Tuesday nights were movie nights. Bucky had sat on the couch for two and a half hours, cold pizza and a few movies sitting on the coffee table. He opened his phone and sent another text to the blond. It went unread like the rest. He ran his fingers through his shoulder-length hair for what felt like the hundredth time. He grabbed a slice of the pizza and sat back on the couch. It was obvious Steve wasn’t coming home.

~How am I supposed to make you feel okay? When all you do is walk the other way? I can’t tell you how much I wish I didn’t wanna stay. I just kinda wish you were gay.

They were out at their favorite coffee shop one morning and Steve was griping about how he would like to settle down one day, but he just couldn't find the right gal. Bucky swallowed the lump in his throat and looked into Steve’s ocean eyes.   
“If you would just give me the chance-”  
Steve rolled his eyes, “Not this again, Bucky. I'm not gay. Period.”  
“Well, you weren’t saying that when you fucked me into the mattress last night,” Bucky ground out.  
“I don’t need this.”   
And with that, Steve got up from the table and left the shop. 

~To spare my pride, to give your lack of interest an explanation, just say I’m not your type. Don’t say that I’m not your preferred sexual orientation. I’m so selfish, but you make me feel helpless. I can’t stand another day.

Bucky stood up and chased him out.   
“Steve, please.”  
“No, Bucky. Stop bringing it up.”   
“At least tell me you’re not into me,” Bucky said, “Look me in the eyes and tell me you don't have feelings for me.”  
Steve looked straight into eyes, those beautiful blue eyes hard, “I don’t have feelings for you.”

~I just wanna make you feel okay, but all you do is look the other way. I can’t tell you how much I wish I didn’t wanna stay. I just kinda wish you were gay.

 

I just kinda wish you were gay. 

 

I just kinda wish you were gay.


End file.
